It’s All About Energy
oday is a Thursday. Next week is Thanksgiving and that will officially kick off the “holiday” season as we quickly roll into December…again.
To make you even more depressed, I’ll tell you that December is the month where there is the highest rate of suicide in the United States.
On a good note, this is going to be your most powerful December ever; it’ll be the December where you’re entire life will change. (And I’m about to tell you why in a minute.)
I usually dislike this point and on (until about the second week of the year). My businesses slow down and I’m stuck being thrown (usually against my will) into the “holiday spirit.” (Yuck!) As I’m getting older (and hopefully wiser) I’m starting to realize the benefit of slowing down to smell the roses, so to speak.
I’m also learning to appreciate the “Magic of Christmas” because my daughter is 4 and everything in her life is a wonder. I can’t be a “bah-humbug” type of Scrooge with a pre-schooler in the household. Not even if I wanted to. (She won’t let me!)
Not everything in life has to be at a break-neck speed (as things have always been). Yes, I like movement. I don’t like it when nothing is happening and things are stagnate.
In fact, every day when I come into the office, I have a ritual. I turn on music in my bathroom. (Yes, I play music in the bathroom at my office.) My fountains are already running. (They run all the time.) I turn on all the lights. I turn on music upstairs where my office is. The music is usually high energy. Sometimes I light an incense.
On the surface none of this may make any sense to you. Below the surface (or in the areas you can’t see), it makes a huge difference.
There are several “things” that move energy:
1) Music (preferably peaceful or high energy)
2) Fragrance, smoke, or incense
3) Cleaning, organizing
4) You physically moving in the environment or exercise
5) A running fountain (constantly)
6) Talking, chanting, singing, or yelling
Moving energy makes things happen. But sometimes you have to take a step back and say, “Peace, be still.” There can’t always be light without darkness. There can’t always be speed without stillness. There can’t always be loud without quiet…otherwise the universe doesn’t work properly. And your life won’t work out well either.
Okay, so what the hell am I talking about?
Let me go back to December and work my way forward.
December is usually a depressing month. It’s not anymore because you are about to discover a powerful secret to change your life forever. In fact, from now on, you’ll start to look forward to December every year.
It First Starts Off With Understanding Energy Movement
In order to change anything in your life, you have to start off with understanding the movement of energy in your life. Energy isn’t what you see. Energy is what you don’t see. It’s like looking at the air. You can’t see anything but blank space, yet this is where the most powerful energy forces circulate. Everything you can see is simply an obstacle to that energy.
Now, I’m not going to go into any lengthy monologue about feng shui or anything like that. This is different.
I discovered something really powerful and life-changing very recently. (And by accident.)
I started feeling very…depressed. I go through these depressive episodes every so often because I’ve been told that I’m “genetically prone” to depression. Furthermore, I’ve been told that when severe situations occur in one’s lifetime (loss, divorce, bankruptcy, etc.), it starts to alter the biological interworkings of the brain.
And yes, depression is very real. It’s not a matter of just “snapping out of it” as many non-depression-prone people think. It’s a real brain chemistry disorder that sometimes make people think that even ending their own life is a better prospect than going on anymore. It’s the deepest point of depression that anyone can ever imagine. (Women would understand this as an especially deep bout of PMS where endless crying for no reason occurs.)
Recently I came to a crossroads. The holidays are coming up. My mom’s favorite holiday was Thanksgiving, which just passed. My mom passed away more than 7 years ago. I’m not talking with my brother. I never see my dad. (Don’t ask why.) So, essentially I have no “family” around for the holiday season.
For the first time in many years I made an appointment with a doctor to start back up on anti-depression medications because I thought I “needed” it to make it through the holidays.
The appointment came. I didn’t go. I didn’t see a psychiatrist and I didn’t get any medication.
I realized that the reason I was recessing into a depression in the first place was that my thought process needed some work. We call it “self-talk.”
Since I bought my beautiful new home this past June, it seemed that the novelty of it had worn off (as with any exterior “fix” we have to enlighten our mood does). I found myself walking around feeling sorry for myself because my husband lives in Detroit and I don’t have anyone around for the holidays. I have lost my “spark” for training. My employees have been screwing up lately and I don’t even want to go to work anymore. Every time I hear from my brother is because he needs money and for no other reason. I never hear from my dad except when he wants his old job back with my company. My ex-husband is an ass**** loser who keeps wanting his spousal and child support payments early since he squanders all the money. Blah, blah, blah…
And finally I’m like…WTF?? Why do I keep depressing myself like this? Why do I tell myself such awful things? No wonder I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning!
A Magic Book That Changed Everything!
I started reading a book and it changed everything. I’m not going to tell you the name of the book because it only offered a small fraction of what I needed to implement in order to change everything. But the book started the ball rolling and everything else automatically fell into place.
Since (at the time) we were coming up on Thanksgiving, I started forcing my focus in a new direction.
Starting immediately (and it was at night when I had this realization), I began to “train” myself to think about different stuff.
And no, this isn’t some corny “positive thinking” deal. (That’s crap, by the way, and if you’ve done any work with “self-help” then you already know it doesn’t work.)
I started to change my self-talk topics. I stopped imagining myself as a victim being bullied by life and everyone in it.
I started regaining my power back.
Sometimes the mass population will see a successful person as powerful and “together” without realizing the daily or minute-to-minute demons they face.
I’m a fan of the rapper Eminem. He is an extremely focused, intense, and seemingly fearless. Yet it didn’t surprise me that he wanted to kill himself or that he overdosed on drugs.
Most people who seem fearless, focused, and “together” usually aren’t at all.
Even though people can be confident, fearless, focused, and good at what they do, the “off time” is where the negative internal chatter comes in. And it ruins confidence, focus, and everything else.
This is the part we all can control.
The demons in our chatterbox minds (I’m not talking about real “demons” so don’t think I’m a weirdo or anything) will pick apart at our weak points. Lack of confidence. Worry. Anxiety. Fear.
And at night it’s worse because our defense mechanisms, energy forces, and confidence levels are down. It’s the worst when we are alone or with someone who is chiseling with their own negative chatter toward us.
So, here’s what I started doing a few weeks back and my entire world, business, and energy has completely changed like magic…
And your life will change once you understand how to move this energy.
Okay, if you recall before, I started talking about moving energy. We’ll get back into that shortly.
Let’s get back to overcoming the chatterbox demons that create fear, negative self-talk, lack of confidence, and self-hatred. (This is sort of where I left off.)
The opposite of finding everything that’s wrong with your life is finding everything that’s right with it.
My dad raised me to hate the government. And I did for a long time until one day I had an emergency with my first husband.
He was beating me up. I grabbed for the phone, dialed 9-1-1 and within less than a second he cut the phone cord with the knife he was about to stab me to death with.
Within less than 2 minutes (and I’m not exaggerating), there were several officers at my door. They saved my life and he was hauled off to jail.
My view of the government changed.
When my dad continues to bitch about the government, I tell him to live somewhere else. You see, unlike him, I’ve traveled out of the country quite a few times. In many countries still even in 2012, there isn’t clean running water.
Where else in the world are you going to get clean running water into your home for about $50 a month or less?
When my views about the government changed, the legal entanglements I had with the government also instantly cleared up including a judgment that was almost $2 million on 2 of my 3 credit reports. Like…almost overnight.
But I still didn’t put 2 and 2 together yet.
How difficult is it to find the good in something…anything?
So, I started with my ex-husband who has been the center of most of my misery for the better part of the past few years.
My ex-husband, for the most part, is a decent guy. He could be worse. Instead of focusing on what I dislike, I focused on how he gave me a beautiful daughter who is my entire world and means everything to me. In fact, nothing means more to me than my little girl. And what a wonderful life-changing gift that is!
Suddenly he started becoming very amicable about custody issues. He finally got a job (which was the reason we split up) just out of the blue. He started becoming nicer to me pretty much overnight. He even agreed to start taking much less money in spousal support.
I’m like…”This must be working!”
Over the past 18 months I’ve been really upset about one of my companies. I’ve been sending so much hatred in the direction of the business. It has methodically been going down the tubes for the past year and a half because of my negativity and dislike that I’ve been sending in the form of energy (thoughts) in the direction of the business from hating the products to hating the employees.
Using Gratitude to Change Your Life
Then I started thinking about it. I began thinking of how grateful I am for being able to service people and having such a profound, positive impact on people’s lives with the product line. I started thinking of the business as a living, breathing entity and feeling a sense of gratitude for what the business has provided for my life both financially and personally.
Within a few days the company completely turned around.
Meanwhile, a brand new company I’ve been struggling with for the past few months had some grateful feelings injected into it. I started feeling grateful that I came up with such an awesome product idea and how wonderful it’ll feel like to bring it into the
marketplace. I was feeling grateful about what a great job I did on some of the product design and what a gift it is to have an eye for such detail (while enjoying the design process). I felt grateful for having a staff in place to help me with certain business details.
Within 2 weeks the entire outlook of the business changed from being completely “dead” to getting million-dollar product contracts with wholesale distributor/suppliers.
I’ve done this “gratitude technique” over and over again with issues such as my marriage, businesses, investing, my body, and everything else that I believed was creating obstacles or negativity for me.
What I began doing was listing, in my mind, all the things I am extremely grateful for. I’d shoot for at least 3 things. Then I’d add 2 more. Then I’d try to make it to 10. I wouldn’t write them down. Instead I’d focus on how I felt and allowed myself to really and truly feel grateful for each one without rushing through a written list.
And I’d do this as I’m going to sleep.
Sometimes I wouldn’t start with the major things I’m grateful for. I’d start with the little things. I’d choose 3 things that happened in my day that were awesome. Then I’d try to find a couple more. Then I’d pick the most awesome thing out of the list I created.
I’d actually feel great, warm, and fuzzy as I started falling asleep instead of sad and full of anxiety as I have been in the years prior.
(By the way, let me mention that when you have sad, depressing, angry, or fearful thoughts all the time, especially all the time before bed, eventually your life starts to come apart at the seams as my life had been. It really does a lot more damage than you think!)
In the morning, I’d start listing a few things I anticipated as being awesome for that day…even if it was a certain lunch I planned on having! I’d get pumped up and excited about…anything. Literally anything big or small! And if I had nothing particular to look forward to, I’d make sure I’d think about how I’d want a certain project to turn out or about ordering something online and make it a point to add that into my day.
Pretty soon, I started thinking differently. My mind actually began rejecting negativity.
The second something negative came into my mind, I didn’t have to force myself to think “positive.” Instead my mind automatically started wanting to focus on better, more